“Important encounters are planned by the soul long before the bodies see each other.”
~ Paulo Coelho
The moment I saw him, I knew I loved him. In fact, I knew that I had loved him for lifetimes. It was that feeling—the one that hits us hard in that spot between the second and sixth rib and slightly to the left of the sternum. This is our heart telling us a truth—the recollection that we have been with this person many times before.
I call this a soul relationship, and if we have experienced it, we know. If we haven’t yet, understand that there is a certain spark that comes with it and a subtle peace. An immediate bond of reassurance and stability will wash over us, one that could only be attributed to having been with this particular soul intimately, for centuries before this one.
It took me a long time to jump on the reincarnation bandwagon, a doctrine that has ancient roots and contemporary relevance since one in four Americans believes in it. But due to personal experiences, now I do too. In fact, I believe we have each lived dozens of times before this one and will live dozens more after. I also hold fast to the faith that on each occasion we incarnate, we do so with similar souls. We choose to be surrounded by people we will recognize so that in this lifetime, we do not feel so alone.
Most of our relationships are not that deep, even if they may appear to be.
We can share a lot of history with other human beings and still not be connected at the deepest level. We can have lovers with whom we’ve shared passion and profound intimacy and the sense of a connection that at least felt as if nothing could be deeper—and then, for one reason or another, drift apart.
Then, if we meet our former lover years later, we may have the strange and sometimes disturbing sensation of there being literally no connection anymore. Soul relationships are eternal.
A significant sign that we are experiencing a soul relationship is that these are the people we can’t resist—even though we want to. The bonfire attraction we have for each other might make us believe we should be together now, but often there is a tragic flaw to this reasoning—the practicalities in this life might not be in our favor.
The truth is, the result of coupling with these irresistible souls can be confusing and painful. Possibly with a temptation so electric, we use the motivation of “should,” a little too strongly.
We believe meeting someone with whom it feels we have known forever “should” work. But, timing is everything. Just because we were together in a previous life does not mean we can be together in this one.
This reminds me that soul relationships are more complex than I can intellectually understand. Each soul evolves at a different speed, and this time, we might be on a different trajectory. This does not make the relationship or connection untrue. It just means that the other is bound in their perception by limitations on the personality level and cannot register or be aware of the deeper significance.
The discrepancy between our own perception of things and that of someone else can lead to disappointment and even to sorrow if we do not understand that what exists at the soul level has to find its way into physical expression in its own way and time. In some instances, this may not happen nor serve the highest good within a particular lifetime.
Life unfolds in mysterious ways and in the end, the connections with others on the level of the soul enrich life immeasurably and add to the dimension of the physical, the dimension of the spiritual. These relationships will one day become quite natural and commonplace, for they represent the progressive unfolding of the beauty and promise of our capacity as spiritual beings to live a sacred life.
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If not for old photographs, I might have a hard time believing you were ever a blind baby or costume-wearing toddler, or that your first words were in Spanish. My baby is gone now. I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief. I take great satisfaction in the foot taller than me man you have grown into. We read the news outlets and you have learned not to be afraid of disagreeing with me in your opinion of them or disagreeing with me on anything actually. You need razor blades, shower gel, and privacy, and yet it does seem like yesterday when you would waddle into my bedroom and sing, “Eyes and ears and knees and toes, knees and toes.” It had been my privilege and honor to share every day with you, every lacrosse game, teachers visit, science fair, ROTC performance, and award presentations.
As your childhood comes to an end, it seems my work with you is complete, or you with me, since it was you raising me these past 18 years.
Perhaps the magic is as simple as believing in yourself, and if you can do that, you can make anything happen.

