I was in a pub in Ruidoso, New Mexico, on a date when a good- looking, tall drink of water bus boy walked up to our table. As he bent down to take away the dirty dishes, I looked up and knew in an instant that I was going to spend the rest of my life with this stranger.
I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I do feel our souls possess a timeless and deep recognition that offers a rare and a profound spiritual connection. This recognition occurs outside the normal time frame of our conscious mind because it takes place outside the realm of time.
We define our human experience in physical terms: physical places and physical bodies. However, our soul and the communication from our soul originate in a non-physical place. It is not here or there, it simply is. It differs from the physical in many ways, but it does exist – it is real, and it is a place of pure energy. It is in this space where a spiritual connection transpires.
Most people, whether they will admit to it or not, have a “perfect match” checklist, just like the kind a dating service asks an applicant to fill out. In theory, the more of each other’s boxes you can tick off, the more well suited you are for each other. Although this is a well-intended concept, most of the time it is the things that don’t appear on a checklist that matter most. I didn’t know what color hair my husband would have, nor did I know how tall he would be. I didn’t know what he did for a living, what religion he might practice, if he snored or if he wore boxers instead of briefs. But, I knew exactly how he would make me feel. Safe. Understood. Alive. And loved, deeply, truly, perfectly.
Love is often called chemistry – when we combine certain elements, they unite and create a unified whole. But a spiritual love goes beyond the typical chemistry feeling and is perceived on a deeper level of understanding, which goes way beyond the sharing of interests, hobbies, religion, political ideologies or education. It’s as if you have known the other person your whole life, yet have only really known them a short period of time. The normal courting time frame does not fit with spiritually connected couples. Most couples know each other for years before they decide to get engaged, a spiritually connected couple can know each other a couple of hours.
Spiritually connected couples aren’t perfect, and just because you find this deeper spiritual connection does not mean you will sail into the sunset without any issues. But it does seem like these couples that are connected on a deeper level find a way to work things out when they hit rough and choppy waters.
Relationships are challenging, anyone who has been married longer than a second knows this, but when a couple shares the deeper spiritual bond and when they communicate on the mind, body and soul level, the chance of a successful relationship is much greater.
The bus boy, as it turned out, was the owner of the pub, and also an orthopedic surgeon in Ruidoso. We began dating the weekend after we met and we were engaged 90 days later. This year we celebrate 14 years together, however things have not always gone smoothly. But through the ups and downs of life, through the death of a baby, the challenges that come with raising two boys, aging parents, and all the crazy life situations we stand united and eternally connected. I am not certain of many things, but I do know I will have this deep and unwavering spiritual intimacy with my husband for the rest of my life, and most likely beyond this life.