Mary Magdalene is one of the most influential symbols in the history of Christianity. Yet, if you look in the bible, you’ll only find a handful of verses that speak of her. Mary Magdalene, according to the four canonical gospels, traveled with Jesus as one of his followers and was a witness to the crucifixion and resurrection. At least that is the narrative that has been propitiated by the church for thousands of years. I studied theology in college and when I learned about Mary, she always felt to be a whole lot more than just that.

After I graduated, I learned of a gospel, as ancient and authentic as any found in the Christian Bible. It was concealed deep in the Egyptian desert during the 4th century, following an edict to destroy all existing copies. Fortunately, some rebel monks were brave enough and wise enough to refuse- and thanks to their faith, disobedience, and spiritual bravery, we have several manuscripts of the only gospel that was written in the name of a woman: The Gospel of Mary Magdalene.

Mary’s gospel unveils a profound love that lies at the core of the Christian narrative. It asserts that our nature is not inherently sinful, and we need not harbor shame or a sense of unworthiness for our humanity. Instead, our purpose is to embrace our full humanity to embody a true human being – one who recognizes the coexistence of a messy, limited ego and an infinite soul.

In an attempt of the Catholic Church to dismantle the Divine Feminine, the misconception of Mary Magdalene as a prostitute primarily originated during a 6th-century sermon delivered by Pope Gregory. This fiction accomplished two things – diminishing Mary’s teachings and women having leadership roles. The characterization evolved over centuries through various interpretations and cultural influences. There has been a magnetic reluctance to shift our perspective about her ever since. It’s almost like the effort it would take a river to change directions.

A theologian is someone who studies God. I’m interested in what has been left out about our ideas about God. And this driving force led me to travel to Southern France to see for myself if the mythology about Mary was true. Surviving their miraculous escape after the crucifixion, three women named Mary, including Mother Mary and Mary Magdalene, along with Martha, Lazarus, and an Egyptian servant named Sarah are said to have landed at Saintes Maries-de-la-Mer, now named for the arrival of the holy Mary’s from the sea. The story goes that each settled into a different area of France. Mary Magdalene traveled inland to what is now Saint-maximin-la-Sainte-Baume. She started a church and retired to live out her days in a grotto on the high hill of Saint Baume.

There is always a moment on any journey that I take that seems to define it. I was in the small, peaceful village of Couiza, hiking up to Cathar castles in Southern France. My internet was spotty allowing me to anchor in the soulful consciousness that surrounded me there. I felt protected from the storms of life in that peaceful place and each morning when I got up, I felt the fresh air clearing my throat, as well as my heart.

One afternoon I hiked up to a church that was carved out of a mountain over 2000 years ago- Gorges de Galamus. This was the place that was believed to have been where Mary Magdalene came after the death of Jesus.

I walked into the quiet air of the cave that was a chapel, which was tinctured with the scent of burning candles and a musty smell that reminded me of old prayer books. I took my seat on a rickety wooden bench. There wasn’t anyone sitting around me, and yet I instantly felt a warm, and gentle hug. I heard a soft voice that originated deep within my heart whisper, “Sister, welcome home.”

I’m not sure why but I immediately burst into a tsunami of uncontrollable tears, as if my soul could bleed an ocean through my eyes. That was the enormity of my sobbing. This was not an awakening. It felt like this was a memory. It was as if I was transported back in time. A photo was taken of me in this exact moment and a green translucent light was right beside me.

I’ve often wondered if Mary Magdalene survived the Christian persecution after the crucifixion. I believe that she did. I don’t know much, hardly anything at all really, but I do know that the heart is the portal into the impossible.

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