How to Build a Sacred Site in Your Bedroom

For centuries, mystics have advocated that sex, can be a powerful tool for spiritual growth. The act of lovemaking can be a viable path to higher states of consciousness and just as effective as meditation, prayer and other traditional religious or spiritual rituals.

From the beginning of humans, sexuality and spirituality have always been linked. The Babylonian goddess Ishtar seduced a mortal man. In Egyptian religions, the god Osiris has sex with this sister the great goddess Isis. The Hindu god Krishna has sex with countless women, often at the same time. Annual pre-Christian rituals in Europe often involved sexual rites among the peasants that promoted the fertility of the land and celebrated the sacred marriage between God and goddess.

Only in the last 2000 years of Western civilization have sexuality and spirituality been forcibly separated and made to appear as enemies. Most scholars believe the separation was solidified with the rise of monotheistic, male-dominated traditions (Judaism, Christianity, Islam). Religious leaders taught that sex should be reserved for marriage, and, even then, only for procreation.

The West is not the only part of this crazy world with far too many sexual-spiritual hang-ups. Many Hindu and Buddhist traditions believe the body and physical desire are roadblocks to enlightenment and therefore need to be transcended.

Perhaps the most famous ancient example of sexual consciousness is the Kama Sutra, which I studied one on of my trips to Tibet. This intensely detailed, carefully diagrammed erotic love guide originated in India around the third century, B.C.E, well over 2000 years ago and then spread to China. Although Western versions of the Kama Sutra have been diluted (pop culture has reduced this complex, exquisite sutra to a simplistic book of sexual positions), the original is far more elaborate than you might imagine. The original Kama Sutra not only includes tantalizing descriptions of the sixty-four sexual positions but offers advice such as how to handle yourself in a relationship.

These poignant works, many based in Taoism, not only prescribe having sex as much as possible but also advocating prolonging the sex act as long as possible. Both men and women must achieve and orgasm so that the dual energies of yin-yang (yin is the feminine, yang is the masculine) can be brought into harmony.

Sexuality is an organic, natural part of being human, of being alive. And when we aren’t conscious about it, or when we deny it, or when we are ashamed of it or unhealthy with it, we miss out on an incredibly viable piece of life, an intimate experience and expression of who we are, and a powerful way to experience divinity.

Here are some things you can do to cultivate an empowering sexual consciousness and build a sacred site in your bedroom.

Start by setting your intention. Try holding your present moment and awareness.
Clear and purify the space – no clutter – open a window or even sage.
Balance the Yin and Yang Energies by using dim lighting and soft fabrics– yin with bold colors.
Artwork – make sure the artwork in your bedroom evokes relaxation and romance.
Treat your body as divine. Treat your lover as divine. Be aware of the divine energy swirling around you as you have sex.

Sexuality is not just the act of sex; it’s a passionate attitude, an exchange of living energy, and a way of engaging the world on a fully appreciative, deeply sensual level.